13
Aug
2014

The Paradox of Certainty and Uncertainty

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I was listening to a podcast and the speakers were discussing the idea that some of our basic desires in life are contradictory in nature. In particular they were discussing our desire for both certainty and uncertainty in life. And we want them at the same time. This isn’t a new idea, just one worth recognizing and remembering.

Certainty is safety. It is the reassuring feeling of knowing what is coming, what to expect. It allows us to be prepared, to not be caught off guard. Without certainty we must always be on the lookout for unexpected danger. Uncertainty is excitement. It is where new things happen, where passion lives, the place from where creativity flows. Without uncertainty life becomes boring, predictable and bland.

And so we need both. We need enough uncertainty to keep life interesting, to keep the passion fired in our life and our relationships. And we need enough certainty that we can navigate life without always being on high alert.

It becomes easier to maintain balance when we realize that not all certainty and uncertainty are created equally. Uncertainty is a risk. Sometimes the instinct is to avoid all risk, to not become vulnerable because of the hurt when things don’t go well. Yet we can analyze risk. We can know what risks we believe have a higher chance of turning out well. For example, we can assess the risk of jumping out of a plane with a parachute to be better than jumping without one. We also know what things we are better equipped to handle if it doesn’t go well. If we are going to jump without a parachute we might assess that we are better able to handle the negative outcome of jumping from a 5 foot wall than an airplane. And finally, we can look at the value of the positive outcome and determine if is worth taking the risk.

The same is true for certainty. We can decide when it is worth sacrificing some excitement or passion for the feeling of comfort and safety. We may decide that the value of being able to relax and not be on guard or to not have experience more emotional hurt or discomfort. We can make the same kind of judgments about certainty as we can for uncertainty.

As is so often the case, the answer is balance. We need the comforting embrace of certainty. We need the fire and passion of uncertainty. Not one, not the other, but both. While they are contradictory in nature, we have the ability to use our judgment to experience them in ways that enhance our lives instead of letting one or the other lead us to a place of hurt or unhappiness.

Find your balance – be certain about uncertainty and uncertain about certainty!

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